You Are What You Eat?

Geo is new to the extraterrestrial world. He has never been outside earth before. He is in the mess hall with Kyro, an extraterrestrial human being.

Geo: What’s that you are eating, Kyro?

Kyro: It’s Bekolli Souffle. Very tasty and nutritious. Want some?

Geo: Bekolli.. BEKOLLI! You mean one of those creatures we met yesterday?

Kyro: Yes, why? What’s wrong?

Geo: But he was alive! I mean, he talked! I mean, we talked to him! Er, he was sentient!

Kyro: (mouth full): mm, oh yeah. They are one of the more intelligent species out here.

Geo: That’s cannibalism! I didn’t know space humans have degraded so much! … (Starts to freak out)

Kyro: Calm down, it’s not cannibalism. Now if I were to eat you, well…

Geo: Gah! You can’t just talk to someone one day and eat him the next day!

Kyro: I’m pretty sure this bekolli is not Kthlgura. I talked to him today about the sketch for Section 14A. He’s fine.

Geo: What, he had no problem that you are eating a member of his species?

Kyro: That’s the circle of life. Dogs eat cats, cats eat mice, mice eat.. Cheese? Are mice herbivores, Geo?

Geo: (Still freaking out) That is entirely not the point. Would you be ok if there were creatures that eat humans?

Kyro: Of course, there are creatures that eat humans. Blaf-hahah eat humans. So do Rogenslros.

Geo: Blafaha-what now?

Kyro: Oh Blaf-hahah. Their name is unpronounceable. The Diplos came up with that name after sitting for 8 hours with the Blaf-hahaha diplomatic team.  We needed something that sounded close to their name and was not offensive in either language. The Diplos didn’t tell them that hahaha means something else to humans.

Geo: We have diplomatic relations with a species that eats humans?

Kyro: Yup. They have power over the entire Belar sector. Plus they have monopoly over trytonium trade. We needed to give several trade concessions before they agreed to favour us over the Cremolians. What’s the big deal? Even on earth, there were creatures that ate humans, right? Er, lions and tiggers?

Geo: Tigers, you mean? They died out long ago.  *sigh*. Anyway, we don’t have diplomatic relations with them! How is it even possible to make deals with someone who might eat you at any moment?

Kyro: Oh, they won’t eat diplomats in safe zones. It’s only in the wild that they eat humans. If you are out in the wild with inferior weapons and you met a Blaf-hahah with superior weapons and speed, and who was hungry enough, be prepared to be Blaf-hahaha lunch. On the other hand, if you had superior weapons, you might kill the Blaf-hahah.

Geo: Do humans eat the Blafalas too?

Kyro: No no, doesn’t agree with our stomach. They are Oblates. Only oblivore creatures can eat them, like Gramuba worms. Incidentally, Gramuba worms are a delicacy of Bekollis. See? Circle of life.

Geo: (To himself) This is not ok, this is not ok, this is not ok..

Kyro: Ah, you’ll get used to it.

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Trupthi Ann John

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